22 months ago we learned that something was slowly killing you. You fought, succeeded, climbed, and battled like a warrior. In the end you felt sick and I felt really bad. Your body was weak and they tried hard but ultimately there was nothing that could be done.
Three weeks ago you left this Earth for Heaven. As you were entering eternal sleep I saw the concern on your face of 'what's happening to me?' There was nothing anyone could do. Your last meal was an ice chip then it started to happen. - you couldn't breathe, your lungs began to bleed, and eventually you faded away. My heart is still broken for what you went through that day.
After your life was gone we sat together for several hours. I didn't want to leave your side but finally accepted that it was time for you to be Home. That night I said goodbye. I turned off the light, slid your hospital room's door closed and walked away. You laid there in peace as I fell to pieces. Walking away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Your new life had just begun and I am still in love.
Two weeks ago I went to the hospital with a 'transporter', who allowed me to help retrieve your body. I got to see you again, laying in absolute peace. You were beautiful and it was a reminder that am forever in love. I wanted to see you more.
I got to visit you again last week before you were burned down. You laid perfect and pure, as precious as ever. I wanted to spend forever in that moment but it was time to push you in. Your ashes were brought to me Friday, a day before your special celebration.
Two days ago I woke up to a morning I never wanted to come. I am happy you are there, but hadn't yet publically acknowledged that you were gone. Our family and friends celebrated your life on Earth and your arrival to Heaven. It was a fun filled party and many people told me amazing stories about you. Your faith, joy, happiness and strength inspires others. Your life inspires me and makes me want to be a better person. It also makes me wish you were still here. I went to bed last night while clutching your ashes knowing you are free but hoped to wake up this morning from a difficult dream. I miss your smiles, laughs and love and it still seems surreal that your gone. But I love you more and more.!!
Today (July 10th) we celebrate our wedding anniversary and for the first time we are apart in two different worlds without any possibility of being physically together. No matter what we're unable see each other, hold each other's hands, or lay beside each other. No kisses, no hugs, no dancing, no cards, no texts, no phone calls, nothing...
But I still will celebrate in honor of you and in honor of our God who put us together. He blessed us with a small part of time together but I wish it could have been more. You made my heart full and my love for you remains eternally. I thank you for celebrating this special day with me for the past 13 years.
Happy Anniversary my bride...I miss you beyond what could ever be understood. God is good and I'll be reminded of you often. Kisses and love from Earth to Heaven my beautiful Angel.
Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."